Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Smart Bitches @ Trashy Books Have Just Been Bitch-Slapped!!!!!!

Subtitle: And I'm Loooovvvvviiiinnnnggggg it!!!!!!!!

So a while ago smart bitch Sarah posted this stream of conscious piss on the site.

Basically it professed to be a self-publishing reader survey, but the original blog post was ridiculously biased. Some choice comments from that post include:

Say it with me now: 0_o?

I honestly read that paragraph three times to make sure I didn’t miss a plot point. “Darker places” doesn’t begin to cover it. Holy holy holy. Faster than you can say “star-struck lesbian cops” my perception of self publication changes.

But thinking about this pitch, and the many-layed cake of WTFery going on in there, made me think about the conversation I’d had about self-publishing, and how readers perceive it.

That was in reference to his blurb.

Yeah, so anyway, she slags off his book, makes some ridiculous assertions about self-publishing (authors who self-publish face competition from authors who self-publish and authors who trad publish, she says. Sure, but authors who traditionally publish face THE EXACT SAME COMPETITION, so what's your point?)

Anyway, a comment was just posted over at her site...

Being the author of “Touched By A Charlie’s Angel” I find this self publishing debate intriguing but in my case, it doesn’t really apply to my ebook. “Touched By A Charlie’s Angel” is not self published, it was published by Club Lighthouse publishing ebook publisher who edits and markets my work. By the way, I have been published by Prentice Hall, Harper Collins, Avon and in the U.K. by Quartet Books.

Bitch Slap!

If you're interested, you can buy the book here.

And if you head over to the smart bitches blog, you can see the comment I left. But you don't have to, cos here it is:

In response to the previous comment, I have to wonder why this blog is called SMART bitches.

I mean, come on Sarah, as every single self-publishing naysayer in the comments above has pointed out, self-publishing books are EASY to spot.

Unless you knew it was traditionally published, and you were fucking with peoples heads in order to challenge traditionally held self-publishing views.

So, you’re either dumb or devious. I wonder which…

Sunday, 26 September 2010

damn again

I've knicked a shot on my neighbour's wifi and its excruciatingly slow. My internet has been off since Friday. This blog tour keeps getting harder, but I'll get there.


Wednesday, 22 September 2010


I'm going off-line for a few days, I have editing to do. If I got in touch with you about guest posting or hosting my tour, or if you just want to volunteer to host my tour, email me at Chriskelly82 without the spaces. Thanks.

Laterz, dudes.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010


I've been reading the file I uploaded to Smashwords. I think it was the wrong file, there's loads of things wrong with it, way more than there should be.


Lesson: name your files in an easily distinguishable format.

Monday, 20 September 2010


I've got lots of unconfirmeds, but essentially every guest blogger space is full now.

Until people say no.

Now I just need to fill up my touring slots.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Want to Guest Blog, but not sure what about?

If possible, I would like to feature guest blogs about

  • worldbuilding
  • strong female characters in speculative fiction
If you fancy writing on one of those subjects, let me know.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Blog Tour

I'm doing a blog tour in October.

I'm going to keep re-editing this post with more information on who I am visiting, when and about what.

If you fancy hosting my blog tour please leave a message.

Where I'm going...

6 SL Armstrong's blog on flashbacks
7 Guest posting at Tracy Falbe's blog, about my sword and sorcery influences
8 Interviewed at Jess C Scott's blog

11 Ty Johnston's blog, why you should not self-publish
12 Zoe Winter's blog, on doing blog tours
13 facebook day
14 john sundman's blog about steampunk
15 Daniella La Paglia's blog, flash fiction "The Egg"

18 SD Anderson's blog
19 Amanda Hocking's blog: I'll be posting about demons.
20 hp mallory
21 M T Murphy's Blog: I'll be posting about the nature of "Evil!" Mwahaha!!!!!!
22 Interviewed on Susan Bischoff's Blog

25 unconfirmed
27 unconfirmed
28 kait nolan, creating believable villains
29 interviewed on MT Murphy's blog

Who's coming here...

6 Joseph Robert Louis, steampunk
7 Rachel Thompson will be posting about the new Indie Book Collective
8 Kathy Bell on strong female main characters; there's one in her novel, Regression.

11 Mike Murphy will be posting about vampires
12 Tracey Falbe will be posting about how indie publishing has revealed neglected mass creativity.
13 John Sundman Interview
14 Jacsmom is writing a flash fiction
15 Daniella La Paglia is posting her flash fiction here!

18 S D Anderson
19 David Dalglish is doing a post on writing characters who do evil things yet retain their humanity
20 Kait Nolan on strong female characters
21 Mari Maniatt, worldbuilding
22 HP Mallory

25 Amanda Hocking is guest posting about her indie career, and getting into the top 25 on Amazon.
26 Julie Klumb
27 David Meadows
28 Selena Kitt is doing a post on writing about sex.
29 Vix Philips guest post, subject to be confirmed.
30 Zoe Winter's is doing a post on writing about love.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Thanks for reviewing my book

I've been saying since the start that my book would cost $0.99. I decided two weeks ago it wouldn't. Here are my reasons...

  • That works out to about 60p in real money
  • It's 50,000 words long
  • I put a lot of work into it
  • I don't want to sell it too cheaply
I will in time release shorter fiction at 99 cents. I might even release longer fiction at $3.99. But right now Invictus is going out at $2.99.

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

I Read A Really Helpful and Interesting Marketing Blog, and Decided to Plagiarise it :)

Here is an excellent marketing post, all about selling products to people.

I urge you to go read it, and after you do, come back here. Because I'm just going to relate all seven of his points to selling fiction e-books.

1) Proof/Track Record

This is something you need to build on with every title. For instance, Amanda Hocking went to the top 25 titles in the Amazon store with her last book. She sold 250 books in 2 hours to achieve that. Now 250 may not seem like a lot, but considering that once upon a time books were not considered to sell much more 150, and considering she was in the top 25 of over 700,000 titles, it isn't a stretch to bill herself as a bestselling author.

In fact, according to the Wikipedia definition of bestseller, it would be entirely accurate.

  • "A bestseller is a book that is identified as extremely popular by its inclusion on lists of currently top selling titles that are based on publishing industry and book trade figures and published by newspapers, magazines, or bookstore chains."
And again, with the important bits in bold...

  • "A bestseller is a book that is identified as extremely popular by its [and] inclu[ed]sion on lists of currently top selling titles that are based on publishing industry and book trade figures and published by newspapers, magazines, or bookstore chains."
Okay, so Amazon isn't really a chain, but it is the biggest book store in the world, and has more weigh than bookstore chains nowadays.

If you have a few books already out, use this to justify people buying more copies of your book. Show people how much you are already selling. 90% of people are inherently sheep, and have herding instincts. If they think lots of people are buying your work, they will too.

2) Pedigree

I wouldn't go into "I have a creative writer's degree" but your pedigree should certainly be part of your author bio, especially if it fits your subject matter.

A police officer who writes crime fiction...
A sex addict who writes erotica...
A serial killer who writes thrillers...

There is certainly something to the theory that you should write what you know. I don't agree with it entirely (if I did, I wouldn't be working on apocalyptic zombie slash) but if you have a pedigree, flaunt it.

3 and 4) Endorsements

I've grouped these together because often an author (the authority) is also a celebrity. The big publisher's do this well, where a more established author (ie Robin Hobb) will be quoted on the cover of a debut author's novel.

I'm not going to lie, this will be difficult for an indie author.

5) Social Proof

Point 5 talks about testimonials, but in fiction what that refers to is of course reviews. A good review will help to sell your fiction. Whilst you shouldn't get your friends to post positive reviews for you, and neither should you try to coerce people into buying your stuff, you can pimp out positive reviews as much as you like. Link to the best reviews from your blog or website, mention them on Twitter and Facebook.

6) Logical Proof

The general view of indie work is that it will be shoddy. Logical Proof (if A=B, and B=C, then A must equal C) is a simple way to prove you have a high quality product when you don't have any of the 5 previously mentioned selling points.

Consider this. "If the cover is good, and the sample is good, then the novel must be good..."

Although this is the 1st point to become important, it is still important once you have achieved the 5 previous points.

I haven't included point 7 because people don't really use metaphorical proof to sell books.

Anyway, these are just some points to consider when marketing your books.

Monday, 6 September 2010

An Unusual Insight into the Mind of a Madman (The Madman Being Me)

I recently read a comment on Joe Konrath's blog that indie publishers who blog about themselves in the 3rd person are trying to trick people into believing they are not indie publishers but actually belong to a publishing company. This is not why I write in the 3rd person.

I suffer the curious indignity of having backwards shyness, in that I'm not shy in RL. I chair meetings at the parent council, I'll stand up and speak in front of any number of people, etc. But online I get shy and my true personality gets lost.

It did in my last blog.

So the we's and us'es were a ways to a means, and I'm writing more and more in my own voice, which was my intention all along.


I've not been online much in the past week. I've read Dragonbone Chair, Adrian Mole's Diary (I think it was the 2nd one), Retribution Falls and Time Riders. Three from the library, one from a second hand store. My favourite author (Terry Pratchett) just brought out a new novel. Waterstones has 50% off but that still makes it to expensive for me. I really want to go e-.

It is my birthday on Saturday. I doubt I'll get a Kindle. I'm just hoping for money to put towards it.


 started back at college. Whew, that was a long time coming.