Sunday, 13 March 2011

Do You Even Realise How Bloody Hard it is to Think up a Catchy and Relevant Title?

Ok. This is not a blog post following the style of my usual blog posts. This is instead a mish mash of crazy ideas. It's insane!!!!!!

Yeah, maybe not, and I feel like a prat for writing that.

Okay. My life:

I'm going to a spiritualist church tonight, my first time ever attending. I recenty bought myself Tarot cards, too. Hmm. I may end up all Sixth Sensei - probably not.

I joined a dating website. It is very strange and I'm not comfortable on it, and most of the girls there terrify me a bit. There are a lot of weirdoes in my neck of the woods. C'est la vie, baby.

I made a film (short documentary) about Girls Who Play Dungeons and Dragons. It is not a nice film, and quite rips the piss out of D&D players, but hey - I reckon they should be used to it.

Actually, I used to play. Now I play (and much prefer) Savage Worlds. Recently played Deadlands Reloaded and loved that enough to want to write something in the Weird West.

Think that's enough about life.


Imported files from 3 different flashdrives and 2 computers to my new laptop and completely file managed it. I found the YA book I'd lost.

My writing consists of:

Matilda Raleigh: Invictus - currently unpublished, due for editing and perhaps a cover overhaul

Cyborg Killer - a pulpy, noirish styled novel set on  hydropolis (floating city) in a future earth where the sea waters rose. Ethan Wilkes is chief of security for the cybernetics Megacorps, and someone is killing cyborgs. Could it be the bio-genetically enhanced terrorists who are angry that a cyborg is too be allowed in the Olympics for the first time ever? Or is it something much more sinister? Wilkes and his deputy, Blood God Moon, must find out the answers. Would have been hard even if Wilkes hadn't just become legal guardian of his daughter, Crystal Strange, whom he hasn't seen in 13 years...

Princess Lucky and the Dead King's Diamonds - mute squire Sebastian, apprentice druid Thomas, and Princess Lucky (daughter of Arthur, and heir to Camelot) must combine the broken pieces of the dead king's diamond into a whole and destroy it, or all Camelot will fall. Meanwhile, the child-eating witch Baba Yaga hunts Sebastian for her own nefarious purposes. A YA book, dare I say similar to Harry Potter?

The Wordsmith of London (Circa 1880) - a former couple, who recently went through a bad break up, get sucked into an alternate world where fictional characters exist. It's all the fictional characters you might expect to find in Victorian London, from Dracula to Sherlock Holmes, Peter Pan to Phineas Fogg, a Tyrannosaurus Rex to Tarzan. Very fun. I actually wrote this about 3 years ago; it has not been influenced by my break up in anyway.

Naked Flesh-eating Lesbian Zombie Chicks in 3D - THIS IS NOT IN 3D! A small town is overrun by zombies. This is set in Denny, where I grew up. It's a love story, actually. Kind of. A romance. And it has the best sex scene ever in it. It's also about secrets, responsibility, consequences, and growing up. And it's about dads. Not my dad, just... dads.

If everything goes to plan, all six of them should be out this year. I definitely plan to have invictus rereleased and Cyborg Killer out this year. I reckon I might also get Wordsmith out. These are the ones that need the least amount of work.

Which means Nasty, Mean-spirited Evil Little Goblinses (Be Free in Your Hearts) will be scheduled for next year, or the year after.

Oh, and I've been talking to a freelance editor on facebook, we're trying to agree to something. The only reason I didn't have Invictus edited waas because editors tend to be a bit anal about pricing. $30 an hour and no idea how many hours it will take....

If I needed my house plastered, the plasterer would come out, have a look, and give me a quote which would possibly change. If an editor said "Send me the m/s, I'll take a 10 min look at it, and tell you my initial impression of how long it will take," then Invictus would have been edited.

I mean, I can afford $100. I'd struggle with $1500. And if he wanted $15000, then if he worked 5 hours a week on it, I'd have 2 years to save up...

And that's all folks.